Friday, May 5, 2006

Our Husbands have gone mad again

Okay, I read this in the Olusegun Adeniyi's column in Nigeria Thisday Newspaper- 'The Verdict' with the title of "Memo to our Wives" and I cant help but reproduce it here.
No doubt, most household in Nigeria nowadays are football adict, and apart from being a crazy supporter of Super Eagles we all have different teams we routed for either in English Premiership, Spanish La Liga, French Lique or Championat and German Bundesliga or even Italy Serie A. But when it comes to World cup, we dont want to miss a single match, because we tend to see our soccer favourite doning their country's jersey. So This brought up this memo to our wives not to disturb us during the world cup campaign. Ever pause to ponder that within the period of one month when the World cup fiesta will lasted, We, the husband will go mad again. Here it goes.

• During the World Cup, the television is for us, your husbands, at all times, without any exceptions. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, we don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting us. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, we won't even see you and please make sure you put clothes on right after. Because if you catch a cold, we won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you lest we miss the next important match.
•During the games we will be blind, deaf and dumb, unless we require a refill of our drinks or need something to eat. We know you would not, at this most crucial period, expect us to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor....It won't happen!
• You are welcome to sit with us to watch one game and you can talk to us during half-time but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half-time score is favourable. In addition, please note that we say 'one' game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse that we 'spend time together'.
• The daily World Cup highlights shown on TV every night are just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying 'but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?' We don't care if we have seen them or we haven't seen them, we want to see them again. Many times.
• Please, inform your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that require our attendance because: a) we will not go, b) we will not go, and c) we will not go!
• But, if a friend of ours invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash. And finally, please save your expressions such as 'thank God the World Cup is only every four years'. We are immune to these words. Because after the World Cup comes the UEFA Champions League, English Premiership, Spanish La Liga, Italian League, CAF Champions League, CAF Cup, Copa Liberterdores, WAFU CUP, COSAFA Castle Cup, World Club Championship, Confederation Cup, Intertoto cup...

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