When would I forget? Gone forever?

I married his Mother in 1992, we were both happy as a couple until the fifth columnists got into our relationships. We had him the following year. One thing led to the other and the marriage crashed. My son stayed with me when eventually I settled down in another marriage a year and half ago. He shows so many promises and myself had built my life around him. But alas! he died last November in an avoidable incidence. He was coming from school, and incompany of his friends decided to have a swim (as usual) in a damn. He drowned. I lived in a place where there is no one to help dispose off his body on my behalf. So I did it myself. I carried his limp body home, and the memory of those times still vibrate in my psyche. I lost him and it is very painful. I had been trying to live my life, but i found out it is very difficult. My son is such a boy who believe he can take care of himself. Life had been tough to him because of the separation I had with his mother, so he had this notion that he is clever and can take good care of himself. But, on this particular days, he learn the lesson the hard way, even though I had been warning him times without number that he is not clever enough.
Just when would this scar in my heart healed? He is thirteen years old, and day in day out, I still find it difficult to believe he is gone forever.
So I pause to ponder, Just when would I forget, and the reality dawning on me that he is gone forever? The truth is, I may never forget him, but the reality that he is gone forever is the pain I get each time I remember him.

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